Monday, July 09, 2007


If you've been reading you know I've mentioned some things have been on my mind, thoughtful things I suppose you could say. A variety - some work/glass/bead related. Others, more life-realted. This is one of the 'life related' meanderings.....

Years ago I watched the movie FINDING NEMO and one of my favorite lines in the movie came from the starfish who, whenever trouble appeared, dedicated herself to finding a happy place...

We all have those places, those states of mind. Moments where briefly, you know everything is ok... No particular reason nothing dynamic happens. You simply feel good. You've found a happy place. It's not easy to do and can't be done on command most times. If only there were some training, some karma, some way to travel there at will!

Recently, I was finishing my coffee, looking up thru the skylight in the kitchen and I noticed a ladybug running for all she was worth back and forth across the glass, upside down not the least bit undone by the fact she was making NO progress what-so-ever! I realized that I was unsure if I felt sorry for her or inspired by her. She was so busy going no-where ~ a trap that's easy to find ones way into for certain. But on the other hand, she seemed not to mind in the least ~ she was doing what she chose to do and was determined to do it as fast as her little L shaped legs would carry her....

She had found a happy place for herself.

Perhaps pushing 55 instigates such thoughtfullness or maybe it's hormone imbalance, lol. Some of it certainly is this phase of life and the attendant dynamic changes in life which occur on numerous levels. Whatever the catalyst may be I've recently spent many hours evaluating the distinctions between being locked in vs choosing. Pondering what the markers are that enbable us to evaluate our personal reality and life.

I think that all thru life we evaluate - the equivalent of the glass being half full of half empty. I'm continually striving to teach myself to see both sides of anything. My mother is a zen master at this and I not only admire but envy her the capacity she has to see the good in the most dire of fates.

I'm learning... (tho I seem to be a bit slow. LOL

Here's a good example. This time of year (Spring/Summer/Fall) is my very very busiest. It borders on insanity if not nervous breakdown! I normally work a 14-16 hour day (no kidding, really). The winter months are full and busy yet have a less chaotic essence. I am exceptionally fortunate I can actually function well on a few hours sleep for very long runs of time. Perhaps the luck of biology, or it may be more directly related to my wacko personality, admitted and acknowledged :-)

So I now and again in these months feel stressed out, pressed, cranky, ok, borderline psychotic... I feel a tad overwhelmed.

Enter ladybug walking across the skylight

Watching her today I realized that I have no reason to feel angst. I have no reason because just like ladybug, I choose (here's the key word I think - CHOOSE) the pace of this time of year and if I apply starfish's lesson of find a happy place I realize how content this life of mine is! I work 16-20 hours a day doing something that is as dear to me as my next breath!

I work 20 hours a day because of the loyalty and trust and return of my students and my bead customers. I am so very busy because my mind and my muse continue to generate new designs, new stories for my work, new art. I, thanks to each of you and your recommendations, see my business hold steady and grow in a dark economy. So in reality any stress I feel is really happily able to be viewed (happy place style) as a (somewhat tired, lol) celebration of the boundries of the life I've created!

Ladybug and my mother are smart women. I need to think like them more often.

Because the truth is, I've found a happy place too.... :-)