HAVE YOU EVER.....

                                            What a lovely way to think...

                          *(no idea who to credit for this wonderful graphic/text, if anyone knows 

                                          please share in comments so I can give proper credit!)*

Lightbulb moment

The greatest control
is found by deciding
not
to
                       control

 Many Thanks To Each And Every Person 

Who left a comment on Andrew's blog during
my Thursday giveaway.

Sharing time, sharing words, sharing the fun!
Your comments made my heart sing....

I'd say I was pleased beyond words
but if you know me, (or you've been reading here ) you know (lol) I'm seldom without words  :-)

So instead let me say "My thanks to each of you for all the kind thoughts you shared about my beads"!

I'm looking forward to visiting each of your blogs over the coming weeks, sharing in return and chatting to and fro. And I hope you'll stop by here again, from time to time!

PS Thanks too, to Andrew, for hosting the Thursday giveaway!

PSS Did you see Andrew's WONDERFUL news? (click here )

Faye

The Secret Garden

Many years past , when we were younger and far more difficult to tire, lol we created a secret garden.

Designed with three six foot walls of concrete block ending in double wooden gates with spikes to mimic old iron gates we'd admired in London. The gates, once painted high gloss black gave a good faux impression of iron.  The garden creation was a massive effort, laying the block, building the gates, brining in the soil and stone. We worked on the project week after week after week. When it was complete it was a fortress of tranquility & it was barren, as any  newly completed project is wont to be.

The concrete blocks (hundreds of them) were bright, as were the mortar joints. Even the small pebble gravel glinted in the sunlight. The only rest for the eye was the darkness of the earth where we'd arranged for future plants and informal gardens.

But even then I knew it was a place I'd love.

The curious thing was that I'd thought the hardest part was done.

But, as it turned out the greatest challenge, and reward, wass to be found in the small details.

And amid the time it would take to arrive at the dreamt of destination.

The secret courtyard garden North wall as it looks today..

First came the decisions we made of what to plant.

Next came the decsion of those plants as to what would live there, lol

     We and the plantings disagreed often.

But plant by plant, step by step, year by year the dream evolved.

Over three decades the walls have softened, the colors gently aged.

The clemantis, ivy, euonymus have become intertwined. Good friends with each other.

Tiger lillies and barberry bushes cluster happily under the crabbapple tree

that buzzes with bees and brilliant pink blooms every Spring.

This place, this tiny garden, has given more hours of pleasure and peace than anyone has a right to have dreampt. So much from such a tiny bit of ground, from such a small inauspicious beginning.

And in the many years I've walked thru it, over the years I've gazed at it thru all four seasons

I'm only now understanding it's a study, a lesson in the flow of life....

All beginnings are difficult. Much work, little rest. Stark at birth.

Some things, ideas, dreams, journeys, die. Others thrive, succeed, flourish.

And often you are never able to understand why....

Most important things take time. Patience. A definate will-not-be-rushed-ness.

Some combinations protect each other. Some combinations compete.

Some have no influence or impact whatsoever at all upon each other.

They simply 'are', day by day, coincidentally sharing space and time.

Some things are dramatically beautiful ~ but for only a season.

Some are beautiful in much quiter ways but for the entire length of the season, even into death.

Life layers.

Flowers = bees

Vines = birds

Ivy = rabbits

Berries = passing visitors only there for as long as the berries last and never return.

There are conflict and scuffles. Births and passings.

There is cohabitation, song, buzzing, rustling, cricket chirping, firefly sparkling.

There is magic.

There is contentment.

In spite of, and alongside the unchosen sadness, passings, competiton, quarreling the magic and contentment remain. Unbowed. Challenged but not diminished, not overcome.

Who knew, when we layed those blocks in the blistering sun decades ago, tired but driven by a dream

that this little patch of ground

would teach us so much about

life....

FDFerris Copyright 2010

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX

On a hill & long forgotten

a good life lesson found....

ADAPT and be CREATIVE

(use whatever is around)!!!

~ ~

Life isn't easy, not for sissies to be certain.

The day to day routine

can be just as challenging

as the crisis moments.

This little building with it's 'twig lock' 

standing on it's tall and windy hill reminded me

ADAPT

 BE CREATIVE

USE what you have

Don't just think outside the box

cut a hole in it..... 

& climb thru

You won't always find 

the answer/path/solution you want

but you will (almost) always

find 

a 

solution.....

fdferris 2010 

She Decided

Sometimes she wished she were a tree

So she could see into the distance

and hear the songs of the birds

note by note

all around her

If she were a tree

 high in the sky

 the perils of the ground

couldn't easily

reach her

Some days she longed to be

part of the leaves and moss

that covered the ground

below her

low lying and endless in number

so no one would even notice her

But each morning

she awoke to find she was

neither a tree

nor leaf or moss

She was not tall and safe

She was not short and invisible

She

Was

(in fact)

Yellow

Obvious

Delicate

 Embattled

She decided her best 

(and only)

choice

was

to be brave

to be cheeerful

and to look fiesty

(fiesty as hell)

for as long

as

she

possibly

could

~~~~

FDFerris

February '10

Copyright 2010 

Hmmmmm......

Sometimes ideas, long before they become coherent in concept, simply simmer. Somewhere in the background or underground or on the ethereal plane they cogitate, marinate, and filter. They stretch, they fold. The expand and contract. Thicken and thin. They leap then they stand as still as a the moment between the beats of a heart. Ideas. Passions. Pathways. The warp and weave evolve direction long before the course can be perceived.

Still, somewhere, somehow, you sense it happening. You know something creative 'inside' your mind is pushing at the edges, scoping out the parameters, preparing to emerge in the form of a framed 'actionable' idea. It's a time, when if you were to try to assign it a physical equivalent, you'd be inclined to say it were an itch that can't be scratched. A vague ache. An unsettled stomach.

You know something vastly creatively significant ~ some alteration or addition or layered direction is coming. You know, you know it with sure certainly. Sometimes an edge of it surfaces in a passing thought, a color flashes, a word or phrase comes to mind. Alluring, intriguing, painfully tempting. You can almost touch it, feel it beneath your feet, smell it in the air. But you can't visualize it clearly.

Not-just-yet.

So you wait. You watch. You listen.
With intensity.

Something...... Something is on the wing....

In Surprising Places One Finds....

No matter where you live, I imagine you've heard tell that the NE has been tortured is enjoying astounding snow or remarkable cold. On top of my little hill amid the fields and trees we've been spared the snow. But oh my shiverin' kaboose, the cold has been what we normally only see in the depths of February (imagine the insides of your nose sticking together - I know, a horrid example, but true none the less, roflmao And it's one way to let you know how cold COLD is here) And there is no hope for you if you forgetfully lick your lips or go outside with damp hands or hair, lol

Yet still..... 
Amid the struggle with the wind, and the frightful chill there are bits of beauty. Art via nature. Stunning really. The reward, if you take the time to look, is often found in the harshest and most unlikely places. Below, I give you an example of such I noticed recently. This very old single pane window in our house ~ festooned with swirls and curls, flows and rivers, ferns and blossoms of ice that whisper "beauty"....

Water, ice, bitter cold ~ basic elements combined ~ and created this...  

Stunning isn't it?

"WITHIN"

WITHIN A BOOK ~ WITHIN A SKY ~
WITHIN A SONG ~ OR PIECE OF PIE....


AMID A WOODS ~ AMID A WAVE ~
AMID A HUG ~ OR LETTER SAVED


BENEATH A LOOK ~ BENEATH A SIGH ~
BENEATH A HOPE ~ THAT NEVER DIES


SOMEWHERE WITHIN ~ SOMEWHERE WITHOUT ~
SOME BIT OF STRENGTH ~ IS 'HIDING OUT'


SEEK IT FIND IT ~ WHERE YOU MAY ~
RENEW 'WITHIN' ~ STRENGTH USED EACH DAY...

Verse and Images by FDFerris Copyright 2009

Inside The Studio

It's been ages since I've chatted about my studio glass work here - oddly - because it fills the majority of my days, nites and dreams LOL

My creative process tends to wander, to alter, in cycles. Not obvious cycles mind you such as seasons and holidays. No, my purely creative process is, as with most creative souls, a bit random, unexpected and inexplicable (if not downright bizarre) :-)

Recently I've been drawn again to create one of my oldest favorites - lizards


Lizards (modeled on actual or purely artistic) offer endless variation. Combinations of color, movement, expression, situation all factor into these cheerful little fellows and their platform bead base or collectible shelf/desk base surroundings (as you see in the images above and below).

Is it just me or do they make you smile too? Seems to me they're something about them that is cheerful, hopeful, and curiously comforting. But then again maybe I'm just odd, lol

This handsome (well he IS - just ask him!) fellow is of moretti glass and has already found a home, but there are others. If you'd like to know when I place them on the studio website contact me at glasschick at yahoo.com and I'll send you an email.

With lizards whispering to me, emerging from the flames you know (if you know me, lol) that frogs will not be far behind!

Small Bird

I am a small bird
In a tall tree
Amid ever-growing winds
Not fearing the chance of a fall
Because I know I can fly

FDF 7/2009

CORNING Road Trip! Glass Art Society Conference

With the studio (and life) speeding along at the typical insane pace summer brings I've not had a chance to share the trip Dad and I took Corning with you! The GLASS ART SOCIETY held their conference in Corning this year and I can't think of a better combination than CMOG, GAS, the Vendors there for GAS and of course Corning itself. It was great, realllly great and of course the trip produced its share of stories, lol.

Today is another hectic day with multiple students in and out of the studio - so I have to run now, but at least there's a teaser picture!

More coming - lots of pictures to share...

BABY IT'S COLD OUTSIDE!

Cold enough to snow actually. Drat! But I have the magic of images to remind me why I love living here (most of the year, lol) Tho I photograph horribly, this one taken during an 'inspiration walk' by my husband in late August isn't tooooo bad. MY favorite part of the image is all the GREEN surrounding me in our fields.....

Inspiration walks

really get my muse humming - so much vibrancy, detail, drama and color can be found amid the riot of nature at her summer season apex! Tho unseen in the image, there's a riot of field flowers, some yellow, others purple, even red amid the field grasses.

On this day, the heat bugs were buzzing in the background, a summer breeze blowing.

My muse wasn't muttering - she was singing clearly....

I'd love to hear (in comments) what inspires and stirs your muse to a frenzy!

WHAT MATTERS

If nothing you do matters,
then all that matters is what you do....

I heard this statement recently and I confess that at first blush it struck me as nonsense at worst, confusing at best.

The person speaking went on to explain that at those moments when you realize your actions will not change the 'big picture outcome' of a situation it's time to turn your attention, effort, heart and soul towards what small things you ARE able to do. Take actions that WILL make a difference. Those things within your control may or may not be related to the larger issue at hand - but you always have choices.

Quite profound.

It is incredibly easy (and disheartening) to look at a situation and realize that try as you may you are NOT going to control the outcome. Reasons vary, but you realize it lies beyond your grasp to rein in (or rein out) the horses and wagon you see about to go over the cliff.

The light bulb for me within the statement I mention was the tool of refocusing. Finding (if you can) some smaller inroad you may be able to attain within the bigger picture. And if that can't be found move on.

Do what you can in some other unrelated arena. Make some other small progress. Give some kindness. Change the world (or the day, or the moment) in some other small way. Do whatever you can within your reach.

To be powerless in 'given situation' doesn't necessarily mean there's nothing you can do - it may mean you just need to do something else.....

I don't know why I'd never really thought of it that way!

Sometimes life leaves me feeling a bit powerless - but as long as there are choices, other paths I can choose 'what I do matters'. Just, perhaps, in a smaller reaching circle....

ADIEU 2007

ADIEU indeed....

Those who share my ramblings, warped humor (lol)adventures, life challenges and rants know 2007 was for me, an "annus horribilis " (as Queen Elizabeth once said of a year). I lost several people who I'll never stop missing. I nearly lost others. Too much time in hospitals & waiting rooms. Too many 'late nite bad news' phone calls. I've not carried around so much kleenex every day since I was 13 and stuffed my bra... (remember I did admit to my warped humor).

But I'm not writing an epilogue to sadness here - at years end.

Instead I think it's actually an acknowledgement of the fact that lives shared tho incredibly painful once the 'sharing' is lost - still leaves forever intact the memories made.

I'm counting myself lucky that the 'close calls' gave me time. Time to think. Think about making time for people I love. As I've pondered it over the past months I've come to think that 'close calls' are calling cards fate sometimes leave to remind we mere mortals to 'slow down' and make memories. Tick tock tick tock.... There's no such thing as ENOUGH TIME, but there IS such a thing as WASTED time, WASTED opportunities. Control fate? Never. Control choices? Always.

So in the past year, I've been reminded (both gently and with ball bat force) that time waits for no-one (a good lesson). I've learned to strive for a better balance of the studio business and its endless needs with 'life' - family, friendships, husband, goals, day-to-day responsibility. I'm perhaps even more insane for the learning, lol. Yet better. Oddly enough more calm.

The last year has been an exercise in drinking deeply of the small, unsung pleasures that life leaves at our doorstep. I've always been an ardent advocate of enjoying the small bits of life, so I was surprised to learn how much more I could gather from each day, with a bit more discerning effort.

I think looking back on this past year that it IS true that difficult times yeild the most growth. Certainly we learn and expand in good, happy safe times too. But the fire of crisis seems (for me at least) to harden/temper the depth and resolve of lessons learned. Sharpen the eye, hasten the urgency. Crisis is a real window into the inner workings ones heart as well (but that's, well, an entry for 2008) :-)

Thanks to you - you who've weathered this year with me - Those who've given help to my heart, homes to my art, laughter to my warped humor. The jouney's always better when shared. Each of your unexpected email, notes, parcels, phone messages made some of the hardest days of this past year easier than you will ever know. Thank you.....

Here's to 2008! More melting (glass), hopes for less crisis, (tho more well learned lessons) and of course, lest you think differently, continued warped humor!!

PS Rob says THANKYOU for all the emails of offers for cookies**, roflmo He's hoping you'll force me into baking next year (wanna take bets!? rofoma)**Confused? check the previous November posts)

THANKS TO YOU

I did it...

Thanks to the encouraging words from a friend (well her words and a small threat, lol) I actually stole some time for myself as she (and so many of you) have wisely counseled. Time to do something/anything I felt drawn to do. No need, no planned outcome. Simply put, time to do whatever the HE** I felt like during those few hours. What bliss :-)

Of course I found myself called by my torches. Yet what a different thing indeed to piddle, paddle, twit~about with no intent, no plan, no needed outcome! Some of the time was spend engrossed in R & R ~ ideas that have been patiently awaiting time to be explored. No images of those adventures. Those are for another time, lol. A bit of the time was spent simply creating latticinos seen in the image above...

I also allowed myself the HUGE LUXURY of creating a total mess while I worked!

When I'm teaching my beadmaking classes I strive to be orderly (reasonably!) When I demo lampworking or beadmaking I'm extremely obsessive about being orderly, tidy and controlled. I've also found that when I'm working on orders, commissions or pieces for sale productivity is much better if I'm organized. So for all the reasons above it's a rare (treat) to be mess mess messy! I can't believe I'm showing you this, lol but here's the 'full picture' of this portion of my bench and one of my torches! Quite different from the cropped latticinos and tweezer image eh?



Happy to say, my mum's doing much better :-) Dad's doing well and back at his routine post op. And me, I'm feeling almost normal for the moment! (ok, quit laughing at my use of the word normal in relation to myself LOL)

Happier still I am ~ deeply thank full in fact ~ for the concern, care, support, encouragement and love so many of you have 'gifted' to me thru this past long difficult year.... Your gentle kindness, care, humor and encouragement have seen me thru (and then some).

Lucky I am indeed to have been given such gifts of kindness.

Tho it seems far too brief a phrase, know the simple words Thank you come from my heart....

NOVEMBER 1st

I'm not sure exactly what it is about the coming of November 1st that always brings my mind to the holidays. But every year, turning the calendar to November my thoughts instantly wander there.

Holidays are funny, quirky things, aren't they? A montage of memories, guilt, happiness, frustration, desires amid demands. A tumult of emotional confusion if ever I've seen one.

The last time I checked there were few people I listend to over the age of 10 who found any big holiday COMPLETELY free of conflict or happiness (in almost equal parts) and I began to wonder why it's all so convoluted. After all it sounds good on paper (as they say). Days off, good food, family, friends - Nomran Rockwell, here we come! So what's the problem?

It varies I suppose from person to person and family to family but oddly I think wanting whatever you don't have that is part of the mix:

People who have no one 'expecting them' are lonely
People who have too many places to go are pressured

People who have to be on the road hate the drive

People who are preparing dinner are annoyed with the people who ARE worried about the drive because fixing the dinner is stressful too

Kids feel uncomfortable dressing up to go visiting
Adults are uncomfortable dressing down to go visiting
If you eat too much you feel guilty
If you eat too litte lyou feel deprived/cheated
If you speak your mind you're in trouble (lol)
If you don't speak your mind you feel repressed
If you want to eat early, you'll end up eating late
If you want to sleep in, eat late,dinner will be at 1pm
If you want to fly, you'll somehow need to drive
If you want to drive, you'll end up flying

On the other side of the tumult is the intensity of the closeness, the flood of familial memories. The warmth and comfort of friends. There's the fact that sometimes the holidays (and life) ARE Norman Rockwell and the desire to 'freeze those moments' is so overwhelming it's a physical ache....

And don't underestimate the sheer volume of it all. In the span of four weeks there is so much food, so many people, so many memories (happy) so many memories (sad). Lingering regrets are gently mixed with determination to change.

Four intense weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas that find the past tugging at your sleeve, while the present hovers and the future windes gently ahead. A mental and emotional blend that leaves me (and perhpas others) oddly at ends.

It passes by Jan 1st. Twelve new months are ushered in and the hours/days/weeks/months fly by at an amazing rate of speed. New memories will be made, new challenges met. The pace is so frenzied I hardly stop to ponder the meaning of it all ~ that is until the next November 1st....

DIRTY WOW WOW

I KNOW what you're thinking, roflamo - but this is NOT that kind of post :-) Actually, it's something I stumbled across doing updates for my marketing classes and it stole my heart! So, of course, I had to share it with you.


It began as a wonderful concept:

What's a Dirty Wow Wow? It's the shabby stuffed toys and blankies you clung to and treasured from childhood, with nicknames like "Fuzzy Wuzzy," "Night Night," "Huggie," "Dup Dup," and yes, "Dirty Wow Wow."

Which led to the book....

Ten Speed Press celebrates these well-loved friends of childhood in the book Dirty Wow Wow, a touching, sweet, and funny collection of photos and stories.

But the best part of all is the online gallery of submissions (once you've clicked the link here, scroll down the opening page - and there are several pages of submissions). I'd be hard pressed to say if I found myself more drawn in by the images or by the stories ~ each so similar yet unique. Best of all was the chance to see a gathering of images and words showing & sharing 'the soft side' of humanity.

(And yes, I have my very own 'dirty wow wow' - she's a rabbit - care to see an image)? :-) PS she looks as bad as some of the other 'contestants', (but I'm happy to say she looks far BETTER than many of the 'blankets' lol...

FIND A HAPPY PLACE

If you've been reading you know I've mentioned some things have been on my mind, thoughtful things I suppose you could say. A variety - some work/glass/bead related. Others, more life-realted. This is one of the 'life related' meanderings.....

Years ago I watched the movie FINDING NEMO and one of my favorite lines in the movie came from the starfish who, whenever trouble appeared, dedicated herself to finding a happy place...

We all have those places, those states of mind. Moments where briefly, you know everything is ok... No particular reason nothing dynamic happens. You simply feel good. You've found a happy place. It's not easy to do and can't be done on command most times. If only there were some training, some karma, some way to travel there at will!

Recently, I was finishing my coffee, looking up thru the skylight in the kitchen and I noticed a ladybug running for all she was worth back and forth across the glass, upside down not the least bit undone by the fact she was making NO progress what-so-ever! I realized that I was unsure if I felt sorry for her or inspired by her. She was so busy going no-where ~ a trap that's easy to find ones way into for certain. But on the other hand, she seemed not to mind in the least ~ she was doing what she chose to do and was determined to do it as fast as her little L shaped legs would carry her....

She had found a happy place for herself.

Perhaps pushing 55 instigates such thoughtfullness or maybe it's hormone imbalance, lol. Some of it certainly is this phase of life and the attendant dynamic changes in life which occur on numerous levels. Whatever the catalyst may be I've recently spent many hours evaluating the distinctions between being locked in vs choosing. Pondering what the markers are that enbable us to evaluate our personal reality and life.

I think that all thru life we evaluate - the equivalent of the glass being half full of half empty. I'm continually striving to teach myself to see both sides of anything. My mother is a zen master at this and I not only admire but envy her the capacity she has to see the good in the most dire of fates.

I'm learning... (tho I seem to be a bit slow. LOL

Here's a good example. This time of year (Spring/Summer/Fall) is my very very busiest. It borders on insanity if not nervous breakdown! I normally work a 14-16 hour day (no kidding, really). The winter months are full and busy yet have a less chaotic essence. I am exceptionally fortunate I can actually function well on a few hours sleep for very long runs of time. Perhaps the luck of biology, or it may be more directly related to my wacko personality, admitted and acknowledged :-)

So I now and again in these months feel stressed out, pressed, cranky, ok, borderline psychotic... I feel a tad overwhelmed.

Enter ladybug walking across the skylight

Watching her today I realized that I have no reason to feel angst. I have no reason because just like ladybug, I choose (here's the key word I think - CHOOSE) the pace of this time of year and if I apply starfish's lesson of find a happy place I realize how content this life of mine is! I work 16-20 hours a day doing something that is as dear to me as my next breath!

I work 20 hours a day because of the loyalty and trust and return of my students and my bead customers. I am so very busy because my mind and my muse continue to generate new designs, new stories for my work, new art. I, thanks to each of you and your recommendations, see my business hold steady and grow in a dark economy. So in reality any stress I feel is really happily able to be viewed (happy place style) as a (somewhat tired, lol) celebration of the boundries of the life I've created!

Ladybug and my mother are smart women. I need to think like them more often.

Because the truth is, I've found a happy place too.... :-)

(Ref#204)

GRASS SPIDERS

As I was walking to the studio bldg this morning I noticed dozens of little tiny spider-webs reflecting dew in the early morning sun. As nature goes, spiderwebs aren't a highly remarkable sight.

What was remarkable to me was that they were all on the ground, not woven in 'high and safer' places but spotted all over the low grass, in harms way. I wondered what caused these little spiders to work so hard creating frail beauty to sustain themselves and then place in smack-dab in well trodden, easily harmed locations?

I pondered it as I worked and two conclusions came to mind:

Either they 'do the best they can with what life had offered them' - which is what I think we all do. Sometimes 'ideal' solutions just aren't in the cards, so we innovate and hope for the best....

Or the other conclusion I considered is that these weaving spider of the low grasses are artists, lol, creating beauty to sustain themselves and as mentioned before ,working hard and hoping for the best...... (And I bet these spiders are a bit insane as are all we artists! lol)

Seeing these 'ground webs' reminded me of one other thought... for what it's worth. We look forward to plan we look past to remember, we look up for the warmth of the sun on our face and to see the free birds fly. But we seldom look down, and below our feet is the most fascinating world - amid the grasses and grains of sand significant insights can be found....