Thursday, May 14, 2009
Spring. It's all about imperatives. The birds must build nests. The grass must grow. Trees spend their days leafing. Frogs spend their nites singing. Concise, unquestionably clear. Who does what. Who does what when.
It's something that, at this phase of life, I miss....
I've arrived at the part of life-journey-ing which is free of prescribed imperatives. Not, mind you, that I necessarily heeded any of them when they applied, yet they were posted signs on the route. Carefully lettered, pounded into the ground. At predictable intervals they lingered. Read them, heed them, ignore them as I pleased, they were there.
The path winds now. Unmarked. Pleasant.
Oddly there are far more life-maintaining-imperatives. But few if any personal imperatives. Freedom amid frey. Exhilarating or confounding? Yes. Both. Neither. A mix of emotions that refuse to be named. Inspiration or anxiety? Yes. Peak and valley in rapid alternating succession with no plain betwixt and between.
Tick toc calls out the hand less clock.
My imperatives now.... None? Many? Yes. And no.
The path unfolds without signposts pounded in. No predictable intervals now.
Free to create, dance with life, dream.
Uplifting? Happy? Perplexed? Bad?
Old enough to no longer be young. Young enough to not yet be venerable. Smarter than ever I was. More patient. More appreciative. Less patient. More confused. Wanting to conquer so much more than I would have dreamt (or dared before). But just what? Just when? Just how?
No imperatives. My call. My choice. My journey.
Turn left? Right? Rest? Run? Wait and see? Wing it? Plan? Pounce?
Yes. And no.
And so I go ....
Thrilled by the lack of (yet missing) imperatives.